Sing Fly Love

I am batshit. Certified, in fact. I’m diagnosed with almost 10 different DSM codes; most significantly of which is Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID); more commonly known as “multiple personalities.” I have been writing these posts in my mind for so long and I have never found a way to get them out of my head…Read more »

Shaken to the Core

I’m sitting in my favorite chair in silence; feeling relaxed and safe, wondering what I will do today. It’s warm outside and I can feel the sun through the sliding glass door next to me. I can faintly hear the sound of children playing in the courtyard just beneath my balcony. The refrigerator hums loudly…Read more »

A Little Note to Tomorrow Me

I don’t want to write this post. Normally I would just figure out a way to rationalize away any reason to actually pick up my laptop and put these thoughts out into the ether. But then, through a recent discovery about myself and after much procrastination, I finally sat down and started this note to…Read more »

To Be Continued…

It’s easier at the end of the day to lie in bed and think of all the things I did wrong. It’s easy to think of the things that make me sad, bring the waves of shame and sometimes even make me wonder if I should call my Shrink again. Tonight is one of those…Read more »

Switcheroo

As I joined my mat on the floor for my first yoga class in almost two weeks, my body groaned, cramped and rebelled and the yoga instructor said “I want you to practice mindfulness with a mantra tonight. Find something to tell yourself that encourages you to keep going.” Usually, while I find all the…Read more »

She

She isn’t nasty. But she’s always acted nasty and felt nasty.  When she was younger, she had a “nasty” but then she became nasty.  She doesn’t have a name, she has a label.  She doesn’t have a life, she has a purpose. She slays. Sensuality as her shield and sexuality is her sword.   She…Read more »

Dreams of Life

I managed to sleep for 15 hours last night. Not a new record or anything but certainly an accomplishment. Despite my “Oh, I’ve learned so much and I’m just floating through life” bullshit that I said in my last post, I’m miserable as fuck. I mean it….I can’t stand to be awake. When I’m awake,…Read more »

Staying Afloat

I’m not sure if they are a big deal anymore, especially with the whole pandemic thing, but when Escape Rooms were all the rage a couple of years ago, it blew my mind. I simply could not, and still cannot, imagine paying money for someone to lock me into a space with others from which,…Read more »

Goodbye, Ms. Dragonfly

Yesterday morning, as I sat in my chair looking out the sliding glass door, a dragonfly flew full speed (I assume…I am not an expert on dragonflies but it seemed pretty damn quick) into the door and dropped to the balcony below. It shocked me for a brief minute as my anxiety spelled out scenarios…Read more »