As I joined my mat on the floor for my first yoga class in almost two weeks, my body groaned, cramped and rebelled and the yoga instructor said “I want you to practice mindfulness with a mantra tonight. Find something to tell yourself that encourages you to keep going.” Usually, while I find all the…Read more »


She isn’t nasty. But she’s always acted nasty and felt nasty.  When she was younger, she had a “nasty” but then she became nasty.  She doesn’t have a name, she has a label.  She doesn’t have a life, she has a purpose. She slays. Sensuality as her shield and sexuality is her sword.   She…Read more »

Dreams of Life

I managed to sleep for 15 hours last night. Not a new record or anything but certainly an accomplishment. Despite my “Oh, I’ve learned so much and I’m just floating through life” bullshit that I said in my last post, I’m miserable as fuck. I mean it….I can’t stand to be awake. When I’m awake,…Read more »

Staying Afloat

I’m not sure if they are a big deal anymore, especially with the whole pandemic thing, but when Escape Rooms were all the rage a couple of years ago, it blew my mind. I simply could not, and still cannot, imagine paying money for someone to lock me into a space with others from which,…Read more »

I Love Mom, Fuck that Bitch.

When I oversleep in order to escape reality, my dreams go into extreme mode. The more I sleep, the more surreal they become and the more blurred the line between what is real and what isn’t. My recent weekend of slumber and binge watching has given me a lot to figure out, as throughout the…Read more »

Setting Expectations

I arrived on the panhandle of Florida and the white sandy beaches of the Emerald Coast one week and one day ago. In this time, I have seen two sunsets and one sunrise – significantly fewer than I thought I would by this time. I thought I’d come down here and, like last year, be…Read more »

Doilies and Death

Sometime in the next handful of days, I’ll be leaving my safe little world of nothingness that I’ve settled into here in the middle of nowhere. Despite my previous “shithole” post and less than flattering description of the community I’ve called “home” the past few weeks, I have to admit this is a nice little…Read more »

Itchy Fingers

Oh, how badly I want to break my promise to myself about not editing and deleting what I’ve (we’ve) posted. Oh how much I want to delete this account and disappear completely; taking its posts and comments with it. Oh how I wish I could just Shut. The. Fuck. Up. But then a dose of…Read more »

Beauty in the Shit Hole

Being on a disabled pension and not having a home of my own leaves me with quite the paradox of limitless freedom and agonizing dependency. I can go anywhere I want, stay as long as I’d like and do anything with my time I desire but I often must depend on others to host me…Read more »

More Blasts from the Past

As I go through the files on my iCloud drive and read the things I wrote in the past, it’s a strange feeling. I feel so distant from the author of these ramblings, so inspired by their insightfulness and impressed by their freedom in flow of thought. I’m jealous of myself – of the me…Read more »